Tag Archives: employment reference

Don’t leave your career in the hands of a well-intentioned (but unqualified) friend

Realizing that your career may rest in a reference’s hands, you consider using a friend (or relative) – posing as a potential employer – to see what a reference will say about you to a prospective employer.  While this tactic may be tempting, there are a number of reasons why this is a bad idea:

  1. Most friends, however well intended, are not reference checking professionals. They may act in an unprofessional manner, ask inappropriate or illegal questions, or allow something to slip that could compromise your position.
  2. Some states impose limitations or restrictions on impersonation.  A good reference-checking enterprise knows the legal limitations of reference checking and does not cross those lines.
  3. Your reference may convey subtle verbal nuances that a friend may not pick up on. Intonation, wording, and hesitations in responses can be “red flags” to a professional reference checker that may not be picked up by an unseasoned ear.
  4. A reference checked by a friend is not legally supportable.  If a friend calls and confirms that your reference is providing career-damaging input, you will have no recourse to use this hearsay report for legal or remedial action.  A professional reference checking company provides a legally supportable report and may even offer services to help youneutralize a bad reference.
  5. A friend might not answer your reference’s return call in a professional manner. Your friend might not be in a position to take a reference’s return call, if it is necessary. There is also the possibility that someone else would take a return call instead of your friend. Also, a suspicious reference might check their Caller ID and perceive what you are up to – not a situation your want with your all-important reference.
  6. A friend might “sugar coat” negative information about you. It’s hard to be the bearer of bad news, especially to a friend who may not be receptive to hearing some really unflattering information.
  7. If suspicious of the interviewer, a formerly good reference may become a bad one. If your reference suspects they are being manipulated, you could lose their trust and willingness to act as a favorable future reference.